Unless you live in a cave, you’ve heard about Miley Cyrus’s butt over the past couple of days. According to the YouTube video below, Miley wants to work on her booty. In this letter, I’m going to assume that TMZ is right; that Miley does in fact want more junk in the trunk. If I’m wrong, then Miley can disregard this letter. For the record, I think Miley is absolutely beautiful and should be very proud of her rockin’ body. But if glutes are what she wants, then I’m the man with the plan.
Interestingly, I was tagged or referenced in no less than twenty posts on Facebook and Twitter in the 24 hours following Miley’s performance at the VMA’s. People were saying that Miley needs Bret Contreras. I disagree. More like Bret Contreras needs Miley Cyrus.
Allow me to Introduce Myself
I’m writing this post in hopes that it reaches Miley and/or Miley’s people. My name is Bret Contreras, and as you can see, I’m known as The Glute Guy. In the past four years, I’ve written or co-written four books on the glutes (HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE). I’ve trained a ton of women and probably have the most impressive before/after butt transformation pictures out there (HERE), I co-own a business that caters to building women’s glutes (HERE), I’ve written tons of blogs on glute training (HERE), I’ve conducted numerous glute EMG experiments (HERE and HERE), and I’ve even managed to transform my own glutes (HERE) which is important as a trainer should walk the walk if he’s gonna talk the talk. I firmly believe that I’m the best in the world at what I do.
Don’t Worry, I Know What You’re Thinking
Right now, you’re probably thinking that I’m just some meathead personal trainer who doesn’t understand how to train women. I’ll have you know that although I love strength training, I’m actually a science-geek who is studying for his PhD in sports science/biomechanics. I also have a CSCS certification from the NSCA. You’re probably thinking that you’d work with me and get overly bulky and ruin your physique. Don’t worry, I understand your fears. I’ve written about tailoring strength training for different types of goals and physiques (HERE, HERE and HERE). But you don’t need to worry Miley, you’ve got the perfect type of physique right now in terms of readiness for transformation. You’re flexible, you’re lean, and your dancing has kept your muscles active. You have an excellent foundation and your body is eager to adapt if you simply train properly.
Give Me 12 Weeks!
I don’t live in L.A. or N.Y.C, nor do I train celebrities. I live in Phoenix, Arizona and am very happy here. However, I would gladly train you for free if given the chance to prove my skills as a trainer. I’d even travel with you and accommodate your busy schedule.
I need 12 weeks to make a huge difference. Miley, if you can commit to training with me four times per week for 40-60 minutes for 3 months, I guarantee that I will dramatically improve your glutes. After the 3 months are over, I bet that you would be the talk of every magazine, newspaper, website, entertainment news program, and tabloid.
Once you build the glutes, they’re easy to maintain. After our time is up, you won’t need me anymore, as you’ll easily be able to continue to improve upon your glutes for months to come by just continuing to do what I teach you. I can guarantee that I will positively impact your career for decades to come, but of greater importance is that the methods that I’ve developed, the methods that have taken me decades to hone, will finally reach the masses once your transformation is made public. The greater good will be served and women around the world will realize that they too can shape their backsides and utilize strategic strength training to better their physiques.
All you gotta do is get in touch with me. Some women spend tens of thousands of dollars and endure horrific pain on cosmetic surgery to enhance their shape. But you don’t have to spend a dime. All you have to is put in around 70 hours of hard work and effort over a 3 month period. What’s more is that the results are au naturel; a testament to your dedication, not your wallet. What do you say Miley? Let’s do this!
If not, I urge you to buy Strong Curves and/or subscribe to Get Glutes as that’s the next best thing. You can get on board and start spreading the glute gospel. However, when I train people in real life, they get even better results as it helps to have a CSCS/Biomechanist who has seen a million reps of hip thrusts in his lifetime to ensure that you’re training properly and optimally.
If Miley doesn’t get back to you, and she’d be crazy because she DOES need you, you can always drop me a line. 12 weeks in New York for you, and a phat booty for me!
So, I am not saying that Miley hasn’t got it going on…and, after watching the entire performance, even though I winced a few times, it wasn’t that shocking for MTV! The sad thing was that Miley left nothing to the imagination and if your going to put it all out there you should be sure it’s not going to backfire…pardon the pun.I don’t know if it was the latex or the platform shoes, but her glutes were not anything like i would expect. They are more like the anti glutes and woefully inadequate…flat, flabby, cellulite, blah…Bret Posts a lot of pics, which, honestly I do grow tired of looking at because I am not so focused on image, but performance. At least now, I do know what the difference between glutes and non-glutes is! But, if you’re going to prance around on stage in unforgiving latex you might want to do a test run to see if the idea matches up to reality. Sometimes ideas are better left as concepts and not manifested! I guess it’s all about Miley, if she has no regrets than neither do I!
I think she might have some regrets….word is her Aussie fiancee is thinking about dumping her as a result of her lewd performance…
So sad….I think being 20 and having the world by the tail would be difficult!( Please don’t go all “spoiled brat on me”, save it, she is super talented, beautiful, and seems to work pretty hard!) I think people change when they have to…whether we are talking about fitness habits, maturity, or focusing on glutes! I am a huge fan of Bret and his work and have been encouraged to realize I can strengthen myself specifically to accomplish some serious goals in performance and overall health. I hope Miley gives this a try and can forgive me if I have offended her. I am a long way from sporting my best glutes! Off to the gym!
Comon’ just get with the TAM(Tracey Anderson Method), ha yeah right! Since she has ridiculous amounts of money, get yourself to Bret, stat! Time to build and reshape the backside!
Bret, if you actually end up training Miley and it is somehow attributed to this blog post, you would officially be the luckiest, boldest, and ballsy trainer out there.
That said, with regard to the blog post,
Not sure if srs.
John I’m dead serious!!! Stranger things have happened in this world…so you can’t blame me for putting it out there 🙂
She could really use you in the worst way. She’s definitely suffering from Noassatall!
Ugh. I wish I was her now that you made that incredible offer 😛
Bret you’re a GENIUS!! Such a true preofessional – she’d be crazy not to take you up on this! 😀
anyone in hollywood who glances at your before-and-after testimonial pics will knock down your door. it’s coming to you. the wheels are in motion. if not with miley then with someone else. hollywood’s churning them out just like always. i knew kerry washington once upon a time in nyc. wish i could make you a celeb butt connection…
among the many thoughts racing through my mind watching Miles ho it up with robin thicke was, I actually do not envy her tushy. Flabby glutes! And this is coming from someone who used to envy anyone whose caboose was simply small. No longer. You’ve raised the stakes and made a truly enviable behind attainable for all! Now to thrust me hips.
I hope so! Fingers-crossed. Glad I’ve “raised the bar” for you 😉
If Miley doesn’t take you up on the offer she is indeed a fool. However, why in the world would you offer to do this for free? This girl has a gazillion dollars and your time is certainly worth it and then some.
It would benefit both of us…I want my methods to spread to as many people as possible and this would be of great help.
Never offer to work for free; it significantly undermines your pitch. In a world of imperfect / asymmetric information, you need to demonstrate confidence in the value of your services. This is especially true when dealing with a monied clientele: you’ll get more traction pitching at $1000 / hour than free. Unless you were desperate, would you go to a cut-price dentist / sushi joint / hedge fund?
My friend’s brother (Mike) plays keyboards for her. I’ll send this article over if you’d like. I wonder if she’ll be interested. All the best Brett!
Yes!!! Please send her way. Thanks A’Mar!
So, are you responsible for lady gaga’s glorious booty?
Nope. I haven’t trained any celebrities yet. But Gaga does have some great glutes.
Bret, you are definitely one of the best coaches and your books and blog are full of very helpful information. I wish you all the best with Miley! But when you become a celebrity coach (extremely busy and rich ;)) I hope you still remember about us – ordinary guys – and keeps spreading your methods to as many people as possible. All the best to you, Bret! You deserve it!
My favorite response yet to the VMA “controversy”!
Bret think of a case study after your Miley boot camp….pre-post measurements 🙂
Here’s an old link (4 years ago) to contact information for Miley’s Agent and Publicist. Not sure if it’s still current.
You could also join IMDb Pro with a free 2 week trial that provides contact information:
Hope this helps!
Best of Luck,
Bret, this is probably a ridiculous question but I have just checked your testamonial site and noticed that “Angie before” has a very similar body type like me and her “after” is what’d like to achieve and what is realistic for me so as stupid as it sounds: Do you have her height and weight and possibly body fat% in the before and after pics so that I have an idea wether I need to put on weight or to lean out? Thank you!
your decision to pick this niche (glute guy) may have been the smartest decision a man has ever made. Good call and please keep those emg experiments coming. I’d be interested to see how overspeed eccentric affect recruitment of hip extensors versus a standard swing (i bet i’m not the only one)
-In your investigation of lower RA activity during pullups vs weighted pullups, to our surprise the added weight dropped activity right? Ever notice that you have to make a much greater effort to prevent swinging in non weighted chins?
Is there a contact email that I can reach you at? I have some quick information that I want to run by you. Here’s my email: firstname.lastname@example.org. Take care.
Hey, Bret – i´ve known for years now (since MM by cressey & robertson) that glute bridging type of exercises are 999999999% percent more effective than 99% of the stuff it is given to the fitness industry.
Damn it after a year of training and doing glute bridges ONLY for warm-up i had better ass than some of my female classmates. Hhahahaha…
So since fouding Hip-Thrusts i´ve been all: ¨HOLY SH*T, FU*K YEAH!!¨.
If Miley wants to really pump dat ass – you´re the man. I hope it works man!! Then by the grace of God, we might see more nice asses in this world…
It’s funny, I was just talking with my friend about how a lot of these celebrity “personal trainers” are such a joke. Most of these women are just skinny, and only got that way thanks to ridiculous diets- and I definitely do not envy most of these women’s bodies at all. If they really do work with real personal trainers they’d be fit, not skinny with a small flabby butt. Unfortunately, they only hire people that only tell them what they want to hear- and I think Miley is one of those, but hey, it’s worth a try. Good luck.