Category Archives: Grill the Guru

Challenging Naudi Aguilar of Functional Patterns to a Debate

Attention Naudi Aguilar,

First of all, I want to clarify something. I never knew who you were as of several days ago. But your team recently tagged me in one of your posts about bilateral glute training, and several of you decided to badmouth my methods. Had your team not done that, I would still not know who you are or what your beliefs were. However, since you chose to come after me, I decided to do my research on you, and I found your methods and beliefs to be highly questionable and flat out contradictory with regards to what published research shows, Therefore, I intend on grilling you. I decided to first post an article providing a general overview as to how people like you go about your business; this way I could teach my readers how to spot pseudoscience, hence my last blogpost. I did not mention your name, but it turns out that many people recognized the fact that the article heavily characterized your actions. This blogpost and my next one will indeed mention your name and will not beat around the bush.

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How to Become a Functional Movement Guru in 40 Easy Steps

Functional Bro, You're So Functional!

Let’s face it, making money is hard work, especially if you stay grounded in science. Pseudoscience is much more profitable these days, plus it can be a whole lot of fun. Imagine a world with no scientific boundaries, where anything you think up in your head can be played off as factual regardless of whether or not the idea holds merit in real life. Imagine building a strong, cult-like following and getting paid to spout off jibber-jabber all day long.

Functional Bro, You’re So Functional!

There are Indeed some credible and valuable functional movement experts out there – this article isn’t about them. Every year, the strength & conditioning and physical therapy industries see several new pseudoscientific movement gurus emerge onto the scene. I like to call these guys, “Self-Proclaimed Functional Movement Specialists (SPFMS),” and after studying their methods, I’ve realized that becoming one is actually quite easy.

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You Can’t Stop the Hip Thrust, and You Won’t Break Our Stride

Can you attain great glutes without the hip thrust? Sure you can. There are hundreds of excellent glute exercises, and I’ve included nearly all of them in my various books, articles, and videos. Can you get there faster with the hip thrust? I believe so, and my large following of supporters do too.

There are currently tens if not hundreds of thousands of lifters worldwide employing the hip thrust to help them attain better glute development, and this list of people is growing everyday. Why? Because it works. Lifters hear about the hype, and they try it out for themselves. Once they feel the tension in their glutes, they’re sold. After a few weeks of progressive hip thrusting, they start to notice increased glute development. If an individual is new to lifting and spends a solid year focusing on hip thrusts, it is very likely that their glutes will completely transform. Men, and especially women, want to spread the word, so they talk about the exercise on social media. Other lifters try it out for themselves, and the exercise gains momentum. (On a side note, thank you very much to all the wonderful folks out there who are spreading the glute gospel and tagging me in their social media posts. It’s helping, and you’re making a difference.)

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You Got Guru’d


noun \ˈgu̇r-(ˌ)ü, ˈgü-(ˌ)rü also gə-ˈrü\

: a religious teacher and spiritual guide in Hinduism

: a teacher or guide that you trust

: a person who has a lot of experience in or knowledge about a particular subject

If we take the Merriam-Webster definition shown above, being a guru is a good thing, right? Well, not exactly. Let’s see what Wikipedia has to say about gurus:

Guru (Devanagari गुरु) is a Sanskrit term for “teacher” or “master”, especially in Indian religions. The Hindu guru-shishya tradition is the oral tradition or religious doctrine or experiential wisdom transmitted from teacher to student. In the United States, the word guru is a marketing term used by ad agencies and the meaning of “guru” has been used to cover anyone who acquires followers. In the west derogatory uses have been noted whereby gurus exploit their followers’ naiveté, due to the use of the term in new religious movements.

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